Venting

I needed some place to vent a little, so I figured I would do it here. Please ignore and excuse the following post.

I know that I'm not a very social person, but that doesn't mean I don't want to do anything ever. I even thought I had an ally in this, but apparently she's gone to the other side and has forgotten to bring me along with her. I have so many different emotions and thoughts just whirling through my head that I don't even know what to write.

I'm sorry I don't like to go out and drink. I realize that at least 75% of the social outings here include this. I'm sorry that I don't like to watch people drink. Truthfully, it gets old after a while. I'm sorry that I don't like a lot of Korean food. This makes me less adventerous than I could be. This also makes up most of the other 25% of social outings. I'm sorry I don't like to go shopping excessively, or continually return to stroll the same shopping areas. I don't find it that fun. I'm sorry I don't like to go to Seoul every weekend. Spending all that money to go there and paying to sleep on a floor seems like a waste. Not to mention it can be a tiring affair. I'm sorry my first week I amost never went out with you guys. I just wanted to savor the short time I would have to myself, without my 3 roommates. I'm sorry that I'm a quiet and passive person. Unless I'm explicitly invited, I'm not going to crash your gathering. I'm sorry if who I am or how I am makes me seem anti-social. I'm sorry if it makes you pass me over or forget to invite me.

But I can't change. Well, I can change. I could become more social, always going out with you guys wherever, but that's not me and that won't make me happy.

I get the impression that you don't dislike me, and may, in fact, like me a little. So, please, don't give up on me just yet. I will continue to say no, but there will always be the random yes that will be thrown in.

/end vent